on breeding, or a lack thereof.
i used to say i didn’t want children. then i said i did. then i said i didn’t. now i for certain do not. it’s been a bit of a roller coaster. whether or not i have wanted them in the past has directly...
View Articlei can change.
this is a new mantra. i feel like i need to allow myself to adapt and change. i spout a lot of shit about my ideals. i think i have everything figured out and then i get blindsided by feelings i didn’t...
View Articleon failure.
i have a very serious issue. i love people really openly. i allow them in. i’m told it is overwhelming and addictive. i’ve done this quite a few times, and more often than not it ends in disaster. i...
View Articledon’t call me baby.
history has shown me to be adverse to labels; unless i’m giving them to myself. i have a whole list of things i identify as. a summary can be found here, and i would say that is the tip of the iceberg....
View Articlemoods and management.
i had a party this weekend. i participate in a sex positive group that throws events of all sorts and with different levels of sexy fun involved. the friends that run the group are lovely and...
View Articlethe flood.
i had a cry today that probably outranks most cries i’ve had in recent memory. i’m talking devastating, brutal sobs in the fetal position on the couch. at least i wasn’t on the floor. wave after wave...
View Articleon boundaries, or a lack thereof.
consent is a thing that has been creeping into the media, finally. i love it. i think it is so. fucking. important. to ask permission when it comes to anything. equally important is the ability to say...
View Articleon back-pedalling.
sometimes in order to take two steps forward, i need to back up. this was written about a year ago, and i am about to hand it over to the person it is about. i do so hoping to clarify any hard...
View Articleon tasks to come.
i notice when i stop writing for a week or so, it means something big is about to get worked through. the easy stuff comes out easily; flows out of my brain and onto the screen at the rate with which i...
View Articleconnecting, or a lack thereof.
have you ever seen “the secret language of birthdays”? it’s quite eerie in the accuracy department. the advice it had for me and the things it mentions in the summary are freaky. it refers to...
View Articlerecycled.
i wrote this over a year ago. i wrote it in the heat of transition; i wrote it in the face of a rejection from the partner of which i speak regarding my relationship structural choices. we have come a...
View Articlea letter for him.
hi. some of this may be hard to read. this is not a letter to inform you of your wrongdoings. you have done nothing but be who you are; i love you unconditionally. this is to explain to you the effect...
View Articlegirl problems.
a woman has re-entered my life romantically recently. i dated her and her husband about a year and a half ago; they turned to monogamy when their marriage hit some snags. i was supportive. her and i...
View Articleon fetishizing compersion.
my partner and i have had a few talks in the last week or so surrounding his sexual activities outside of our relationship. so far, there haven’t really been any. i’m waiting for the bandage to get...
View Articlei cum like this. you cum like that.
it has occurred to me that i have been extremely self conscious about my sexuality. i have navigated phases of living in proverbial closets, denying myself acceptance of the things that get me wet,...
View Articleon accepting love.
i tried to break up with my girlfriend yesterday. i think, now that i tried and she talked me down out of my cyclone, i can call her my girlfriend. i have been feeling overwhelmed lately with the...
View Articlebreaking glasses
shoving glasses off tables with an abrupt and resolute gesture to watch what happens. seeing glass fracture, split, and cascade across the floor, bouncing past my bare feet, narrowly missing me. the...
View Articleon waiting.
this weekend has been harder than most things. i have been anticipating these few days for weeks; waiting, dreading, speculating, basically just driving myself bat shit crazy with worry. now i am half...
View Articleon partnership.
i’ve been having some emotions that haven’t been lining up with my ethics. i want my partner to have all the things he needs, do the experiences, live his life as he sees fit. i want him to be free /a...
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